I think a lot but I don’t say too much
Feel a lot and don’t express enough
Don’t sleep a lot I know that’s not good
If I ease enough I know that I would
Mind is racing head is aching
Dreams are fussy while not relating
Waking up dazed is not a great thing
Piecing it together is very much draining
You look at me with want
You gasp when I touch you
Like I’m the air to your lungs
Filled up with so much passion
Your eyes…. They speak to me
When your lips slowly part ways
But your voice refuse to greet me
What does my presence do to you?
I’d like to hear.. And is it just with me?
Or do you get like this with everybody?
Sorry I didn’t mean to kill the mood I’m just asking
I just want to know if I’m getting on for a spin
Or if it’s gonna be something with potential of lasting
Do you see me in your future
Or would I be left in your past?
Would we crumble at the sight of hardship
Or would we make this love thing last?
Would people’s opinion matter
Or would we focus on our own?
Would we rethink everything
Or would we make this house a home?
Stop allowing people to drain you and stop defending the situation by saying they are “friends” or “family”.
In every relationship it’s a two-way street.
You don’t give with the mindset of wanting something in return but let’s be honest, a lot of times that’s the root of the destruction of relationships.
No, I’m not talking about the exchange of material things.
I’m talking about the simple things like just having someone there to listen when you’ve had a rough day.
If you’re in a situation where every time you’re about to meet up with someone you have to mentally prepare yourself then cut the cord of that.
I wish I had this mindset sooner in life, oh believe me.
I would have been way less stressed.
People that think the idea of a friendship or family relationship entails constantly taking are the exact people you do not need to be around.
I’ve been on the receiving end of many “friendships” like that and trust me, if you don’t pick up on what’s really happening soon enough that situation can destroy you.
Yep that seems like such a bad word doesn’t it?
Well it’s not in circumstances like these.
Selfish is exactly how you need to be especially if you’ve voiced your concerns to the leaching party and they refuse to attempt to understand or accept how you feel.
Be selfish with your happiness, speak up on how you feel, decide for yourself the people you wish to be around and stop letting people choose that for you.
You owe that to yourself.
If you’re constantly brought back to a place does it mean you haven’t truly forgiven someone?
If its brought to you in dreams in parables, does that count?
Multiple people in the form of one person,
Using the face of somone that weren’t even involved
I like to think that you’ve forgiven someone when you no longer feel like you hate them
So why the reacurring thoughts?
Did you not heal?
Did you not forgive?
Maybe you’re over reacting and it was only just a dream
Maybe there’s more to it and all isn’t what it seem
I remember those low times
Those alone times
Those silent cries
I remember wanting to be good enough
Wanting those hugs tight enough
Protection well enough
I remember wanting to be apart of things
Normal childhood things
The nice things you see in films
I remember what was stolen from me
The pressure that was put on me
The start of events that ruined me
I remember the help I didn’t get
To calm the thoughts that made me upset
Dealing with it by myself
I remember blaming myself through it all
Putting up a major wall
Wanting to end it all
We go back and forth with feelings
Trying to find a common ground
What we settle on is almost always at my expense
It’s draining but you made me believe it’s just my way of life
Nothing about this is healthy
You sabotage every inkling of happiness I attempt to gather
Yes you have been hurt by many people time and time again
Hurt people, hurt people
Give it a chance won’t you?
Everyone is not the same and everyone isn’t out to ruin you
It’s all you want, I know
You need something to hold on to
That lets you know the happiness you feel isn’t just too good to be true
It’s real, it’s very real
So I say this to you, “let me go because I refuse to be your victim any longer”
“Yes you, you will no longer drag me down” I say to myself