Pond

Sink or swim is what it’s down to

Already in the pond so if you swim, what do you swim to?

Maybe to the empty hands that you think is waiting for you

Illusion at its best don’t let the heavy whispers fool you

Deep breaths with every trickle of tears

As you float on your back it runs down to your ear

Above water under pressure and no one can hear the sounds

The whimpering, the gasps, your fear of going down

All the while being consistently meek

Crying is often mistaken for a sign of the weak

The fear is great but your power is stronger

The pond you thought where there exists no longer

 

CassFrotastic x

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I Remember

I remember those low times

Those alone times

Those silent cries

I remember wanting to be good enough

Wanting those hugs tight enough

Protection well enough

I remember wanting to be apart of things

Normal childhood things

The nice things you see in films

I remember what was stolen from me

The pressure that was put on me

The start of events that ruined me

I remember the help I didn’t get

To calm the thoughts that made me upset

Dealing with it by myself

I remember blaming myself through it all

Putting up a major wall

Wanting to end it all

 

Written by:
CassFrotastic x

The Dancer

Her eyes held the key to all her stories,

With proud steps she inspired many.

She spoke without even saying a word,

And though without voice her language was heard.

A smile as bright as staring into the sun,

To blind out all the negative ones.

Only the genuine would see through,

As they understand her parables in every move.

It’s over now and she’s headed backstage,

On her way home she wipes the smile off her face.

Bruises on her feet the audience cannot see,

A soak in the bath is just what she needs.

Thinking about what story she will tell next,

Never giving anything less than her best.

With hard work comes pain but it also brings laughter,

And this was the life of the graceful dancer.

Written by:

CassFrotastic x

Trust Issues

Its been days without a word and it hurts like hell,

She’s been here before she knows this feeling all too well.

She started getting used to the pain after a while,

Doesn’t stop her from feeling that sting from inside.

As time passes by she tends to get numb,

Fighting with herself “oh what have I done?”.

She’s done it again, she let someone into her life

Now look at the mess they’ve left without saying goodbye.

No napkins please this time she refuse’s to cry don’t ask her why,

Miss gullible fell for the lies surprise surprise.

Pouring out her all only to be left unsure,

But in spite of that her love remains pure.

 Written by:

CassFrotastic x

Silent Cry

Mentally screaming in the midst of a crowd,

Silently bleeding as noise is not allowed.

Constantly triggered but scared of being crazy,

So telling is not an option, or is it? Maybe.

These mental arms are reaching for hope,

Do you really think I want to reach for this rope?

I just feel so trapped, overwhelmed, no one will care

You making fun of me is just one of my fears.

I hide it so well we can laugh and go for a drink,

But at the end of that night you know nothing of what I think.

Attention seeker is what the ignorant would say,

Until one day I’m gone then regrets are on the way.

We should have and we could have it’s too late to listen now,

Congrats you killed me, be happy, take a bow.

Written by:

CassFrotastic x

Scared In My Skin

I don’t want to be scared in my skin,

Why should I be ashamed of this melanin?

You look at me and say beauty comes from the heart,

And in the same breath revoke my opportunities and say I’m too dark.

I refuse to be used for your convenience any day,

Too busy being uneasy about my life everyday.

I shouldn’t have to live like my skin is a prison,

I deserve to walk free on this earth we were given.

Not threading so light almost afraid to breathe,

Like the consequence for my existence is being left to bleed.

On the streets, in my house, where is it safe to go?

You say there’s tons of jobs but when I apply you tell me no.

Now is that fair, just tell me?

Trying to convince me you’re not the enemy.

No one is born aggressive, so you can keep your labels,

We don’t like using the race card but it’s the only one left on the table.

Written by:

CassFrotastic x

Carry Me Like A Bag Of Books

It moves, it turns, the inside burns

It cramps, it aches, at any time or place.

Waking nights and baggy eyes,

Muffling sounds the silent cry.

Its been years the notes are endless,

A thousand pills leaves me so breathless.

I gave it up and threw them all away,

Please don’t strain my kidneys I pray.

Multiple visits mixed results nearly turned to stitches,

Needle points on my body healing as it itches.

The procedure was booked then he left for vacation,

Only to find out cutting me open wouldn’t fix the location.

Acceptance is key they would always say,

Night after night I would hope and I would pray.

For any kind of ease in the moment would be bliss,

But unfortunately I would just have to live with this.

Written by:

CassFrotastic x

 

*For the women that suffer with physical pain due to polycystic ovaries, endometriosis or any other abdominal troubles that causes them constant pain. You are not alone.*