Flummoxed

I think a lot but I don’t say too much

Feel a lot and don’t express enough

Don’t sleep a lot I know that’s not good

If I ease enough I know that I would

Mind is racing head is aching

Dreams are fussy while not relating

Waking up dazed is not a great thing

Piecing it together is very much draining

 

CassFrotastic x

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Pond

Sink or swim is what it’s down to

Already in the pond so if you swim, what do you swim to?

Maybe to the empty hands that you think is waiting for you

Illusion at its best don’t let the heavy whispers fool you

Deep breaths with every trickle of tears

As you float on your back it runs down to your ear

Above water under pressure and no one can hear the sounds

The whimpering, the gasps, your fear of going down

All the while being consistently meek

Crying is often mistaken for a sign of the weak

The fear is great but your power is stronger

The pond you thought where there exists no longer

 

CassFrotastic x

Truly Forgiven?

If you’re constantly brought back to a place does it mean you haven’t truly forgiven someone?

If its brought to you in dreams in parables, does that count?

Multiple people in the form of one person,

Using the face of somone that weren’t even involved

But why?

I like to think that you’ve forgiven someone when you no longer feel like you hate them

So why the reacurring thoughts?

Did you not heal?

Or

Did you not forgive?

Maybe you’re over reacting and it was only just a dream

Or

Maybe there’s more to it and all isn’t what it seem

 

CassFrotastic x

I Remember

I remember those low times

Those alone times

Those silent cries

I remember wanting to be good enough

Wanting those hugs tight enough

Protection well enough

I remember wanting to be apart of things

Normal childhood things

The nice things you see in films

I remember what was stolen from me

The pressure that was put on me

The start of events that ruined me

I remember the help I didn’t get

To calm the thoughts that made me upset

Dealing with it by myself

I remember blaming myself through it all

Putting up a major wall

Wanting to end it all

 

Written by:
CassFrotastic x

Hinder

Constantly

We go back and forth with feelings

Trying to find a common ground

However

What we settle on is almost always at my expense

It’s draining but you made me believe it’s just my way of life

Nothing about this is healthy

You sabotage every inkling of happiness I attempt to gather

Why?

Yes you have been hurt by many people time and time again

Yes

Hurt people, hurt people

Give it a chance won’t you?

Everyone is not the same and everyone isn’t out to ruin you

Reassurance

It’s all you want, I know

You need something to hold on to

Something

That lets you know the happiness you feel isn’t just too good to be true

It’s real, it’s very real

So I say this to you, “let me go because I refuse to be your victim any longer”

“Yes you, you will no longer drag me down” I say to myself

 

Written by
CassFrotastic x